Fears of tomorrow
I had to miss the blogging opportunity yesterday because of my appointment. A particular friend of mine was seeking help from moi since I know computers. Problem is I'm not good in THAT particular area that he was seeking assistance in. So I had to pull someone else from outside and this outside friend to help out. It went well. About an hour and a half of meeting, it went rather well. All my partner was asking is, how much can he get out of this "consultation". Sigh. I guess I'll have to push my side to find some sort of renumeration. Actually I don't mind taking a bit of it myself. Not too much since I didn't do most of the job, just a fraction but I'm taking 25% while my partner takes 75%.
Today is my last day with Esther. Tomorrow morning she's flying off. She's going to the top of the world (or very close to the top). Yup. She's going to Nepal for ministry for a total period of 14 days. So what does this make me? Very scared. I always have this fear of travelling long distance. Even for me or anyone else. I have this fear that something bad might happen and I would be blaming myself (if I'm not already dead) for the incident. I don't know why. I should have more faith in myself and God (most of all) but I just can't help feeling edgy...you know...apprehensive. I suppose to have 14 days all by myself (bachelor again, and I can do whatever I want during my free time now) but I have these "whatifs" in my head. Oh I don't know.
I don't have the fear of travelling ten years back, in fact, it was more the other way round but ever since I started my career, I have this fear of travelling long distance and I'll never see anyone again. Geeze. You heard me on one of my fears in my life being told via internet. Sigh. I hope that things does turn out well, inspite of the turmoil in Kathmandu (political protests and country under military control is being carried out over there right now) I still have some comfort in God taking care of Esther. If not, hey, I'll see her in Heaven again right? Darn. I'm feeling very melancholic now. Sigh. Somebody slap me. Oh well, I guess I have to learn not to worry about this isn't it. Prayer helps, so I'll do that more fervently now.
Over and out.
Today is my last day with Esther. Tomorrow morning she's flying off. She's going to the top of the world (or very close to the top). Yup. She's going to Nepal for ministry for a total period of 14 days. So what does this make me? Very scared. I always have this fear of travelling long distance. Even for me or anyone else. I have this fear that something bad might happen and I would be blaming myself (if I'm not already dead) for the incident. I don't know why. I should have more faith in myself and God (most of all) but I just can't help feeling edgy...you know...apprehensive. I suppose to have 14 days all by myself (bachelor again, and I can do whatever I want during my free time now) but I have these "whatifs" in my head. Oh I don't know.
I don't have the fear of travelling ten years back, in fact, it was more the other way round but ever since I started my career, I have this fear of travelling long distance and I'll never see anyone again. Geeze. You heard me on one of my fears in my life being told via internet. Sigh. I hope that things does turn out well, inspite of the turmoil in Kathmandu (political protests and country under military control is being carried out over there right now) I still have some comfort in God taking care of Esther. If not, hey, I'll see her in Heaven again right? Darn. I'm feeling very melancholic now. Sigh. Somebody slap me. Oh well, I guess I have to learn not to worry about this isn't it. Prayer helps, so I'll do that more fervently now.
Over and out.
posted by Brian at
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
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