April 20th, 2006

I went to a conference yesterday and I met some old colleagues and friends. It's a good feeling. I feel that I still belong to the same group and better since I can stand on my own two feet without having to shiver infront of them. You see, I use to have the fear when I am with them because I lack authority to backup what I want to say. Being in the computer technical line, I sometimes dread opening my mouth because I may say the wrong things and make myself a fool. I do that when I'm amongst friends but not this crowd. Too much pride at stake here. Now, I feel that I'm equal having spent those days(and nights) studying, learning and practicing what I preach and making sure whatever that comes out of my mouth (technically at least) is good. So meeting up with them to talk about a new launch product is good. I feel proud all around but I have to becareful because of my nature, my heart is easily tempted to be prouder still.

I have no qualms about people having some pride and pride itself is not sinful. A little pride does one no harm. In fact builds you up. Problem? How much is too much? I know that I would beam with pride when I know that I did a good job but I also would know if I were to continue to feel proud of my work, I would boast of it (indirectly but still boasting nonetheless). From here, I look up and see God and remembered how pitiful and stupid I am and recall Roger Federer's words, "It's nice to be important but it's also important to be nice". Very powerful words from the current World Number 1 since his words are taken seriously by the whole world. I wish I have a built-in meter that tells me how much pride I have and then I would know how to bring it down. Oh well, life goes on.