July 31, 2006 : Part 3
I had abstained myself from the internet for the past week and two days. So I haven't been updating. That doesn't mean I stopped writing. So to make it all up, I'm posting something which I've written during my week and two days absence. I can't believe it, just a week and two days I got like 108 e-mails. Not junk but legit mails. Sigh. So this is blog 3/4 from my past week.
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Things in my life are going good so far. The life that I am in right now isn’t great but better than average which puts it in “good” category. This is where I get myself ready. I will tighten myself and grit my teeth for the on-coming storm. Though I do not foresee it coming from any direction or any time, I know that it is coming. The tsunami is coming.
My life, like some others out there, is often filled with ups and downs and in-betweens. I have not seen others or question others of my peers regarding this issue. Do you expect a turn to the worse whenever you’re enjoying yourself? I often ponder this question and I often find that it’s true. Whenever I try to enjoy myself, I find myself in a “less-than” position in a short while later. I guess life is nothing BUT a roller-coaster.
You would have thought that a person like me would have already figured it out about life especially my own personal life. Heck no! Probably I’m in denial. Probably. I mean I have seen my life go up and down so many times that, by now, I should have learnt something from it all. “You never learned a damn thing did you, Pete Mitchell, except to learn how to quit.” These words were quoted from the movie “Top Gun”.
As I have said a paragraph earlier that I’m probably in denial. I have to face the reality of being mortal. I have to face the reality that life isn’t going to be “happily ever after”. I have to come to grips with reality and turn on my senses to life. I’m glad that I got this conversation with myself. Really. Here I am writing for all to see but in reality I’m also talking to myself. By writing about myself, I discover myself and it helps me see what I see in myself (that I didn't see it before) and could probably be one of my turning point in my life. I am glad that I could do this. Really glad.
I hardly have good serious conversations about life with anyone. On those rare occasions I do have but not often enough. Not even with my girlfriend and probably she’s been hinting to stir the insides of me to talk but having such a dense person, I would guess it takes a lot of drilling and hinting to get to the deeper part of me. So here I am digging my inner self and conversing with myself.
“I really enjoy our conversations” and “It is a good conversation.” Both sentences were taken from the movie “The Last Samurai”. (Isn’t it odd that I tend to find quotes from movies that were acted by Tom Cruise? Believe me, it’s just a coincidence.)
Yeah, I know. Most people would place me in an institution if I were to talk to myself. The thing is, most people talk to themselves but not out loud. Decision making of even to choose what meal to have for lunch is also part of talking to yourself. For me, I talk to myself just like anyone with the exception of being honest with myself and I hope to grow from this "good conversation".
The storm is coming soon and I can feel it in this heart of mine (yes I have a heart). Preparing for the worse and hope for the best. It is time for me to prepare my sails and ride out the storm. It is time for me to meet the storm head on and laugh at life’s misery. Be like the Captain Amos (a character from several novels written by Raymond E. Feist) and laugh at a storm. Said he, when the storm passes over, a man (or woman) would never feel the same when he already gone through hell, look at death in the eye and come back again. Danger ahoy! Set sail, hoist the anchor and cast off. Time to ride.
------------------
Things in my life are going good so far. The life that I am in right now isn’t great but better than average which puts it in “good” category. This is where I get myself ready. I will tighten myself and grit my teeth for the on-coming storm. Though I do not foresee it coming from any direction or any time, I know that it is coming. The tsunami is coming.
My life, like some others out there, is often filled with ups and downs and in-betweens. I have not seen others or question others of my peers regarding this issue. Do you expect a turn to the worse whenever you’re enjoying yourself? I often ponder this question and I often find that it’s true. Whenever I try to enjoy myself, I find myself in a “less-than” position in a short while later. I guess life is nothing BUT a roller-coaster.
You would have thought that a person like me would have already figured it out about life especially my own personal life. Heck no! Probably I’m in denial. Probably. I mean I have seen my life go up and down so many times that, by now, I should have learnt something from it all. “You never learned a damn thing did you, Pete Mitchell, except to learn how to quit.” These words were quoted from the movie “Top Gun”.
As I have said a paragraph earlier that I’m probably in denial. I have to face the reality of being mortal. I have to face the reality that life isn’t going to be “happily ever after”. I have to come to grips with reality and turn on my senses to life. I’m glad that I got this conversation with myself. Really. Here I am writing for all to see but in reality I’m also talking to myself. By writing about myself, I discover myself and it helps me see what I see in myself (that I didn't see it before) and could probably be one of my turning point in my life. I am glad that I could do this. Really glad.
I hardly have good serious conversations about life with anyone. On those rare occasions I do have but not often enough. Not even with my girlfriend and probably she’s been hinting to stir the insides of me to talk but having such a dense person, I would guess it takes a lot of drilling and hinting to get to the deeper part of me. So here I am digging my inner self and conversing with myself.
“I really enjoy our conversations” and “It is a good conversation.” Both sentences were taken from the movie “The Last Samurai”. (Isn’t it odd that I tend to find quotes from movies that were acted by Tom Cruise? Believe me, it’s just a coincidence.)
Yeah, I know. Most people would place me in an institution if I were to talk to myself. The thing is, most people talk to themselves but not out loud. Decision making of even to choose what meal to have for lunch is also part of talking to yourself. For me, I talk to myself just like anyone with the exception of being honest with myself and I hope to grow from this "good conversation".
The storm is coming soon and I can feel it in this heart of mine (yes I have a heart). Preparing for the worse and hope for the best. It is time for me to prepare my sails and ride out the storm. It is time for me to meet the storm head on and laugh at life’s misery. Be like the Captain Amos (a character from several novels written by Raymond E. Feist) and laugh at a storm. Said he, when the storm passes over, a man (or woman) would never feel the same when he already gone through hell, look at death in the eye and come back again. Danger ahoy! Set sail, hoist the anchor and cast off. Time to ride.
posted by Brian at
Monday, July 31, 2006
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