My writings of late
I know...I know... the past two weeks I've been highly irregular in writing. It's because I am getting old. Yes. Finally I am admiting to my old age and my body doesn't respond to pressure of late nights playing computer games and the likes. I have to say that I've reached my max for now (unless I could get off my lazy butt and start to do crunches, push-ups and running) as I cannot do a lot of physical activity even if I wanted to. Previously I could push myself for four hours of sleep for a total of three days before collapsing. Now I'm lucky if I can stay up for the next day.
My other physically battle is a stalemate; battle of the bulge that is. The food intake minus the weekly exercise (measly but I get to sweat) isn't doing anything, infact it just helps me lose the next three days while I get to gorge the other three days. Since I'd noticed a slight decrease three days after I exercise, I will tend to eat for the next three days and the last day I'll maintain. Sigh. Of course this is definately my fault.
My working life isn't that great but got a small raise. Isn't much as mentioned before but I could pamper myself a bit more every month. Every month, my budgeted expenditure is about RM$300. One of the lowest amongst my buddies. This includes entertaiment, food and phone (my cellular phone runs to about RM$50 per month). So I'm quite poor actually but I'm content. I can still enjoy life. The rest of my cash goes to my family (parents aren't working - about 1/3 of my pay). Insurance (health, life, etc) would be next and my car loan. I've got one more credit card to kill and with that, I've got nothing else. That's my grumbling about; nothing else, nothing left.
I can't even pamper Esther without thinking three times about my debts. The only time I could seriously pamper Esther would be the time I finish paying my car loan, which is sometime mid of next year and my credit card (I'm pushing for end of Dec and it's getting there). So right now I'm counting my pennies (or sens in my currency) but it's hard. It's hard for me who wants to give but frustratingly enough, can't give. Hence the saying "the mind is willing but the physical could not". Blesphamy. I'm quoting the Bible out of context. Ha! In the meantime, I'll wait and see. I got plans but in the making. Sounds malencholic about it? Yeah. I bet you would too if you were in my shoes. I bet you were too if you see your buddies in new houses, new cars, new gadgets, new phones, etc and you can't give one of those to your love ones.
However, I'm trying to change my thinking. I've identified more of my weaknesses lately and I promise God, Esther and myself that I'll change. So I'm trying to see that the dark cloud looming over my head and even though the light shines through it is dim, nonetheless, it's there anyway. So as long as there is light behind the cloud, I could be more patient and wait for the dark cloud to break. Oh well, as the famous saying in "Bad Boys II" goes, "Wooosah".
My other physically battle is a stalemate; battle of the bulge that is. The food intake minus the weekly exercise (measly but I get to sweat) isn't doing anything, infact it just helps me lose the next three days while I get to gorge the other three days. Since I'd noticed a slight decrease three days after I exercise, I will tend to eat for the next three days and the last day I'll maintain. Sigh. Of course this is definately my fault.
My working life isn't that great but got a small raise. Isn't much as mentioned before but I could pamper myself a bit more every month. Every month, my budgeted expenditure is about RM$300. One of the lowest amongst my buddies. This includes entertaiment, food and phone (my cellular phone runs to about RM$50 per month). So I'm quite poor actually but I'm content. I can still enjoy life. The rest of my cash goes to my family (parents aren't working - about 1/3 of my pay). Insurance (health, life, etc) would be next and my car loan. I've got one more credit card to kill and with that, I've got nothing else. That's my grumbling about; nothing else, nothing left.
I can't even pamper Esther without thinking three times about my debts. The only time I could seriously pamper Esther would be the time I finish paying my car loan, which is sometime mid of next year and my credit card (I'm pushing for end of Dec and it's getting there). So right now I'm counting my pennies (or sens in my currency) but it's hard. It's hard for me who wants to give but frustratingly enough, can't give. Hence the saying "the mind is willing but the physical could not". Blesphamy. I'm quoting the Bible out of context. Ha! In the meantime, I'll wait and see. I got plans but in the making. Sounds malencholic about it? Yeah. I bet you would too if you were in my shoes. I bet you were too if you see your buddies in new houses, new cars, new gadgets, new phones, etc and you can't give one of those to your love ones.
However, I'm trying to change my thinking. I've identified more of my weaknesses lately and I promise God, Esther and myself that I'll change. So I'm trying to see that the dark cloud looming over my head and even though the light shines through it is dim, nonetheless, it's there anyway. So as long as there is light behind the cloud, I could be more patient and wait for the dark cloud to break. Oh well, as the famous saying in "Bad Boys II" goes, "Wooosah".
posted by Brian at
Thursday, October 26, 2006
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home