April 15th, 2006

Nothing much happened today, just a note saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" to Karen Tham and Pei Shan who share the same birthdate today. I'm doing fasting today from sunrise to sunset. It's not difficult if I were to do it one day only and I'm just fast myself from solids and therefore liquid diet only. I wish more could be said about Good Friday but Good Friday's topics could be found in multitude and so I choose not to say things about Good Friday. Personally, I think it shouldn't be called Good Friday (since it's related to betrayal and ultimately death) and there are just too many things involve that is out there commercializing it, meaning making money out of this "celebration". It's not a celebration but a commemoration but opportunists would take this and twists it to their own favour.

Sorry got side tracked there, I get all worked up when I see a not-too-good opportunist at work. Oh well, till next time then.

Income Tax Declaration Day

I just came back from the Income Tax department, I found out that I can't hand in my income tax over the counter anymore. The government is encouraging its people to do their income tax via the internet. This means I have two choices, either to go there and register myself to do my declare my revenue via the net or I fill in the usual declaration form and mail it to them. I then looked at my two options and looked at the form that I was holding (took me about an hour and a half on HOW to fill in the form) and then took the special envelope (big, blue and postal paid for) and just go to the nearest postal box and drop it in. Sigh. Drove all the way there for nothing. Oh well, besides that...I'm going to enjoy myself tomorrow. I'm on leave from today till tomorrow and thus having a looonnnngggg weekend. Yeah! Tomorrow's Good Friday and so I'll be fasting... sort of. I've made my decision to fast from sunrise to sunset. Catch you later readers.

12th April, 2006

I been meaning to write yesterday but I was just sooooo tired. I went out from early morning till late afternoon/evenings. Had a marvellous time with Suresh, Audrey, William and Sharon. Esther and I felt very comfortable with them and yes it was a tripple date thingy. Had steam boat, eat till our bellies were full and laugh till our jaws ache. Friendship like these I wish it could, would and will last forever.

Both Suresh and I agreed that William is now brought down to earth by Sharon and would not be able to run wild like Mustangs in the praries anymore. Sharon, if you're reading this, believe me it's a good way of saying "welcome to our fellowship/club" and you'll fit just right in.

Anyway, that was yesterday. Today is a bad day for me. Almost nothing I planned works. I had a lunch appointment and I need to cancel it because another person just waltz into the office and since this person has higher preceedence, I had to cancel the lunch appointment I had earlier. I also planned to have dinner with an old friend. A good friend whom I can never get an appointment other than e-mails and telephone to communicate with previously and set a dinner date. And wouldn't you know it, Mr. Murphy strolls right along and told me that this friend is sick and had to cancel the dinner appointment too. So there goes the dinner plan too. I was looking forward to this but never could. Oh well, such as life.

10th April, 2006

Oh what a wonderful mmmmooorrrnnningg, oh what a wonderful dayyyyy, NOT!

I guess I started my morning with a good foot forward. Meaning, I manage to pull my carcass up by quarter past seven and manage to head to my office before everyone else does. Had a nice enough breakfast, with coffee mixed with tea and a nice steamed pork bun. Then I had a chat with someone and found out about something that I lay buried (purposefully) surfaced up again. Old wounds, sigh.

Things began to go downhill from there. Old wounds surfaced because I ripped it open. I ripped it open because I am the only one feeling it 'cause I caused it myself. Not like some of the wounds where the third party is the cause. Old wounds that I self-inflicted because of my own guilt. I screwed up on a particular situation and so I am flogging myself over it. Problem is everytime I get to see the particular situation, I begin to flog myself again. People like me, forgiving others is MUCH easier than forgiving oneself.

So what did I do? I skipped my lunch, stopped at my favourite Chinese tea shop for a while and drank Chinese tea with the sales person. Very nice. Both the tea and the sales person. As I drank a very good Chinese tea down my throat, I then begin to relax a bit. As I chat with the sales person, I begin to find myself releasing the whip that I so viciously flog myself with. I bought the nice Chinese tea and will be drinking it at my leisure and will remind myself to relax and to stop flogging over things that has happened five years back. Old wounds you see, keeps coming back but the key to your sanity is to forgive yourself. Problem with that is, it comes back again and again and to counter that, you MUST continue to forgive yourself (unless you have no conscience or have come to a point of understanding your decision at that time is just folly and unwise and have moved on since). I haven't come to that stage yet. Until I do, I will have to forgive myself.