Morale, Love and Hope

I've decided to permenently shut down my other, old blog, and shift its contents to this one. So I'll move one topic at a time. The thing about my other blog is that I tend to be a bit long winded. Here's story number two.


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Oh dear, it's "Update your blog" time. Hmmm.... What do I want to say this time. Work related or personal? Let's complain about work. Seemed to be almost everyone's favourite and with weB LOG, it's more like a Bitching Log to some people but it's therapeutic. ^_^.

Let's see. Work place. No. School. Yes. You see, my fellow readers (if there are any out there), the work place at my place at least has deteriorated to be a school ground. It has stooped to a lower level where everyone is being monitored or everything that you do. I mean it. How much you spend time on lunch for example. Usually at my place is very flexible hours especially on lunch. One hour but generously giving half and hour extra especially if you have nothing to do. The management is okay with that. Now, you are required to state how much time you are going to do banking, toilet, etc. Every time you use your card to swipe to open the door, it's monitored. Previously, it was there but no monitoring. That's okay to an extent but how much time you spend in toilet? Then there's the website thingy. The management is pulling all stops on Instant Messaging. No more ICQ, Yahoo Messenger, MSN or the likes. Use to be okay with that. Now the firewall is set to block all IM stuff going in and out of the network. The management also now monitor's websites. Yes, even now as I type they will be monitoring my website visits. So I'm taking a chance on this and see if I crossed the line. I know that they have warned all staffs about certain sites we visit. Their criteria is, as long as it is not business/work related, phooey, you can't visit the site. "What is this some kind of high security place?". I could understand if the business is a high security place that would require monitoring of the ins and and the outs of web traffic as a form of security protocol measure. But at a normal office? I'll let you in on another personal secret, I'm a trainer! I'm working in a computer training center! I don't need this! All my colleagues are pissed off at some of the decision made. I mean why should the management impose such high security and monitoring protocols on us when all we do is just to go for class, train the participants, then leave. Once a while we do surf the net for personal reasons. We only do that because when we have no class to train, we are going to be bored to death. Not all the time we have to do research, since the computer world is moving fast, yes we need to do some fair bit of research but not all the time. We need some breaks too. But NNNNOOOOO. The management wants us to do what they want. Work till we drop. I mean if we, the trainers, could deliver our job performance to the customers' satisfaction and fulfill the requirement of our job description, then I don't see why we can't have a bit of free and personal time in the company. Especially in a training center!?

Oh wait. There's also a limited cups of coffee, tea, beverage we could have too that is provided by the company. Weird huh? Water, how ever much, is okay. Thank goodness for that. I thought we should bring our own bottled water. All these and more is pushing my limit. Five of my fellow colleagues already left and/or handed in their resignation. I wish I could follow them but I have too many commitments. I came in here with a good feeling. In fact a great feeling. Then ever since last month, it is nearly gone/depleted. Morale is low but last week went even lower. Close-circuit cameras been placed at many areas in the premise. Not only to view who's going in and going out of the building but to monitor our movements and what we do or what we should be doing. There goes our morale. I am now looking for an alternative work place. I can't work if the management does not seem to trust our work and need to monitor us to such extent. For a training center!? Get real. Five are going out. I found out that there is no bonus too, so a sixth is on the way to that direction and a seventh is planning to quit next year February. For me? I have too many commitments, can't stay and haven't yet to move either. I really should move as I know that if I pass one more examination/certification (a requirement of course, if you are not certified then you are not qualified to train others), I will have another thing to do in this company which is a two-year bond. Yup. The word is out, the management would like to bond you for two years if you have obtain a certain certification. Two years is fine but with all these surveillance and low morale working place? I don't think so. But like I said, I can't move until I secure another job but in two months? Touch and go. I got the exam in end of Feb so that's why my other partner is leaving by February next year. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.





Something hit me about the truth of life. It is about love and hope. An individual would not be able to hold his/her sanity if there is no love and no hope. Hope is what we all must have. Things always gets to a point of pushing a person to the limits but there is a hope from the individual of making it better. "Tomorrow" by Shirley Temple says it all. There's always hope in all of us if we were to face troubles and Mr. Trouble always appear every now and then. With hope, then people could fight back against Mr. Trouble. Love is there because we simply needed some affection and most importantly, support. Knowing that someone still cares, makes a world of a difference and support adds fuel to hope and us being able to fight back. Trouble is there to haunt us and our morale seems to be at low point. Morale is the combination of determination, hope and love support. Morale determines our fighting spirit to be able to face. Morale if left alone, will always be high. But when trouble hits, the morale will dip very fast. The only way to come back and face the trouble is either love is strong or hope is high. If there is both a strong love and high hopes, trouble would just be like a passing fad. The other thing that may help is to have a high determination. But having determination also requires love and hope too. A man can only take so much rejection. High degree of determination means having a mental ability of taking rejection after rejection and each rejection brings him closer to the ground. Love and hope is part of this determination if you ask me. This is what I believe. Adios.

Gone mouldy

I've decided to permenently shut down my other, old blog, and shift its contents to this one. So I'll move one topic at a time. The thing about my other blog is that I tend to be a bit long winded. Here's story number one.

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Nope. I'm not talking about bread here or process of making cheese. It's just that I feel that my brains have gone soft. This is bad. I mean I use to be able to think fast on my feet and able to give a logical debate of a particular subject to a good level. I look back on my blog and I find myself not able to pour out phylosophical ideas and more concrete ones as I use to. Could it be that my brains have gone soft through out the years? Parkinson disease comes into mind.

Edward De Bono and his lateral thinking is very, very good. Did I say very good? Did I say that? I'm understating the master of lateral thinking with my limited vocabulary. I mean, his words of wisdom gave me something to ponder on, something to think.





This picture is taken from google when I went searching for a picture regarding debate. I like this picture.

Anyway, I believe that my problem with thinking is, not that I lost the ability to think but, I don't have someone to challenge me and forces me to think. I'm in the academic field but a very technical field to be specific. Calculating IP subnets, defining and designing Frame Relay PVC paths, configuring OSPF running routers and the likes are my field and there is no one else to push me. Previously I know someone who calls me up for a debate. She calls me and said, "I'm bored, let's find something to argue". She and I would argue over anything from "how people believes that there is heaven but no one believes that they would go to hell?" to "what do you thnk about that commercial". I hate to admit it, but I enjoy a good argument, not because I do win some of the debates but I enjoy the challenge.

It seems that I've lost that edge. I'm trying to find it again. Pushing my mind to maximum of MY capability. I've lost it, definately. I guess I could improve my "brain power" by reading but its like trying to read on "how to swim" and be very detail about it, unless you do get yourself in water you won't be able to test your concepts. Proof of concepts. I could read other stuff by other people that are arguing and get their ideas but you would only get only get from one person's perspective. The only way to counter that is to read many other people's ideas from many other books, articles, etc. Blog included. Hmmm.... by reading what I'm writing here, I think I'll have to go back to basics. Sigh. I guess I have to shorten by time playing Command and Conquer on-line. I'm sure it would be well worth it.

Problem with people, as Edward De Bono believes, is that these people have developed their own perspectives on certain things and able to find good arguments to defend their perspectives. Herein lies the problem, their minds are then accustomed to defend the perspective and would not grow from there. These people would carry on their values/perspective till their dying day. Then the younger generations comes into life with their own but new fresh, ideas/thinking and would challenge or show that there is another view to the same point. There is another possibility. The older folks would then disagree and thus creating a cycle where the younger would carry their views and happily defends that view till a new generation emerges.

So is there a possibility that I may be suffering from that? Stuck in my perspective that I don't know how to steer my view points or to accept other view points? Perhaps my brains HAVE gone soft and mold begins to appear...slowly. Now I have to find some way to brush my spots clean and start thinking again. I have to, lest I stay and be stunted till my dying days. So till next time, Adios.