Nice guys...do finishes last
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy
Nice guys finishes last, that was the saying that I want to erase in my life but I couldn’t and fail and failed badly. I keep thinking that being a nice guy in a world that scoffs at nice guys is the right thing to do since there are so little nice guys out there. However, I find it tough being a nice guy and it really does not pays. Ideally that what everyone likes but realistically speaking, it can never satisfy the requirement of being a "man" in this day and age.
Girls like nice guys. That is for sure but they never like nice guys in the long run. In the short run it is good to have a "nice guy" but in the long run, women just get more depressed being with "nice guys" (most women I believe feels like that). Why are they depressed with "nice guys"? This is what I get from girls (my own but small and quick research) when asked what their perception of “a nice guy” is.
My conclusion? If you are a nice guy to begin with, you can continue to become a nice guy and your life will be as mundane (ordinary sense) as ever but your dreams will never be fulfilled. If you change from a nice guy to a “nice guy with an edge” is best but what is that edge? I’m still wondering what that means. Mysterious? May cause suspicion in the long run and thus causing some distrust. Nice guy that is tough? May wrongly show you at times and you’ll lose the nice guy image. Aggressive? Geee... don't know about that one. Guys who knows exactly what they want? Sounds like another word for stubborn.
"Finding the balance" is what people say to me. It may be true but what is the balance between "nice guys" and "not-so-nice guys" or even the "bad boy" image. Finding the balance is a cliché, for it is an answer that is true and yet cannot pin-point the exact answer for it.
"Be who you are" is a funny answer don't you think? The irony of life is that life is ever changing and if you don't change, you're left behind and if you do not change then you'll always do the same old mistakes. When you do change, friends and families would come to you and tell you not to change and just "be who you are". When you find that your life is as miserable as before and you wanted to change to overcome those areas you don't like and these people would come up to you and say, "just be happy with who you are". What they wanted to say is "I like you just the way you are". Yup. Unfortunately, I don't like being where I am or I don't like being "Just the way I am"; taken advantage of, being laughed at, etc.
For my new rule in life, if you don't like who you are, change. To heck with the people who tells you that "I like you just the way you are". If they are true friends, then they'll catch you when you try to change. Even if a person changes and turned 180 in life and falls (stepped into the "dark side"), it is their decision and friends, especially true friends, will always be there to help you to change back or even to find a balance.
Changing from a “nice guy” image to a “not-so-nice guy” is tough. Tough on you as a nice guy and tough on your old friends, if you do want to move into this direction, better find new friends because your old friends may think you’re doing drugs or something.
Okay that's enough from me for now. I know it sounds like an angry post and it is slightly so (at least I am honest).
Over and out.
Nice guys finishes last, that was the saying that I want to erase in my life but I couldn’t and fail and failed badly. I keep thinking that being a nice guy in a world that scoffs at nice guys is the right thing to do since there are so little nice guys out there. However, I find it tough being a nice guy and it really does not pays. Ideally that what everyone likes but realistically speaking, it can never satisfy the requirement of being a "man" in this day and age.
Girls like nice guys. That is for sure but they never like nice guys in the long run. In the short run it is good to have a "nice guy" but in the long run, women just get more depressed being with "nice guys" (most women I believe feels like that). Why are they depressed with "nice guys"? This is what I get from girls (my own but small and quick research) when asked what their perception of “a nice guy” is.
- nice guys are boring
- too predictable
- too soft
- not adventurous enough
- not aggressive enough
- dependable but usually last to be called
- etc
My conclusion? If you are a nice guy to begin with, you can continue to become a nice guy and your life will be as mundane (ordinary sense) as ever but your dreams will never be fulfilled. If you change from a nice guy to a “nice guy with an edge” is best but what is that edge? I’m still wondering what that means. Mysterious? May cause suspicion in the long run and thus causing some distrust. Nice guy that is tough? May wrongly show you at times and you’ll lose the nice guy image. Aggressive? Geee... don't know about that one. Guys who knows exactly what they want? Sounds like another word for stubborn.
"Finding the balance" is what people say to me. It may be true but what is the balance between "nice guys" and "not-so-nice guys" or even the "bad boy" image. Finding the balance is a cliché, for it is an answer that is true and yet cannot pin-point the exact answer for it.
"Be who you are" is a funny answer don't you think? The irony of life is that life is ever changing and if you don't change, you're left behind and if you do not change then you'll always do the same old mistakes. When you do change, friends and families would come to you and tell you not to change and just "be who you are". When you find that your life is as miserable as before and you wanted to change to overcome those areas you don't like and these people would come up to you and say, "just be happy with who you are". What they wanted to say is "I like you just the way you are". Yup. Unfortunately, I don't like being where I am or I don't like being "Just the way I am"; taken advantage of, being laughed at, etc.
For my new rule in life, if you don't like who you are, change. To heck with the people who tells you that "I like you just the way you are". If they are true friends, then they'll catch you when you try to change. Even if a person changes and turned 180 in life and falls (stepped into the "dark side"), it is their decision and friends, especially true friends, will always be there to help you to change back or even to find a balance.
Changing from a “nice guy” image to a “not-so-nice guy” is tough. Tough on you as a nice guy and tough on your old friends, if you do want to move into this direction, better find new friends because your old friends may think you’re doing drugs or something.
Okay that's enough from me for now. I know it sounds like an angry post and it is slightly so (at least I am honest).
Over and out.
posted by Brian at
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
1 Comments:
Hi, have u pray lately?
Ppl. keep on changing from time to time, and that's true and in fact, they might change to either become better, or the other way round.
Everyone of us are unique.
Why want to become someone whom you yourself don't even like about?
Why want to change to become someone whom you yourself don't even feel comfortable with?
Why want to change to become someone, just to 'match' the image which others like?
Changes come from the heart.
God changes us, and that change will make you happy and comfortable..
That's my say...
By
Anonymous, at February 18, 2009
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