January 20th, 2009
Today is just like any other day and I went about doing my work as a trainer. I find that today I was better in terms of handling the participants. However, it was negatively accepted. What I wanted for the participants is to remember the information and not just memorizing or worse, don't want to remember but only wants the answer for that moment. My goal is to have the participants remember the information. All I did was to point the answers from the books; information is in the books as I didn't pluck the information out from the air. I made them read the books as the books were theirs and by doing so, they may remember through experiences by visual, touch, etc. My methods may be crude in their eyes but they never see the results.
After thinking about it. I think this job is no longer suitable for me. I have killed what I have enjoyed (in my eyes). I have become someone that is ineffective in delivering (in their eyes). Perhaps it is time for me to move on. To where? I have no idea yet but not now. I still have objectives to meet. I still have two more hurdles to leap over before I hang up my license to teach.
It is the end result they don't see. I believe what they see is a horrible trainer. I suppose from the "customer's point of view" they are right. If they cannot understand/remember the information given, then I have failed. By that, they are right and I am wrong.
Oh to be passionate about teaching is tough. I want to swing my sword from one end to another without fear. I want to push them to newer heights, to bring them to a higher level of understanding. How I wish I could. I have failed as a trainer without a doubt. Even with proper technical backgrounds, the delivery is important and I have failed the delivery portion.
I'd remember when I was a younger trainer, in another company, with another "brand". I'd remember I was a young pup with very little knowledge and my deliverance was good as I was talking in simple terms but "substance" was very much lacking. I was banking on my deliverance to gain points and I did. Now, after years of accumulation of "substance", I lost my "deliverance". Why is this happening? I don't know. Probably because I wanted to impart all I know to them. Pushing, rushing and when the day ended I would ask myself, "for what?" They don't look happy and neither do I feel happy. My passion in trying to teach, impart knowledge was more than they could absorb. I have failed. So many years I was without "substance" and now, when I do have "substance", I was trying to push to them the same information/skills that I have gained. A waste. A huge waste of effort in my part. I have failed.
I would like to find a balance in pleasing the participants and for them to gain knowledge in return. I wish I could but I could not, I have failed. Yet, in all my failures, I am still here in this line of work. Funny, no? I no longer have the drive to teach fully as today onwards, I'll keep a conscious mind that there is no point in pushing. Pleasing the participants is the most important in my line of work. I remember what my senior told me a long time ago, "Impart 40% and make sure they remember 90% rather than imparting 90% and only remembered 40%."
The values looks the same but it is not. The participants would "feel" as if they are much better when they first come in (if adopting impart 40% while remembering 90%). The particpants would feel that they have gained and thus feeling good. However, if I were to adopt the second method (imparting 90% while they only remember 40%), the participants would feel they have not gained anything. By delivering at maximum knowledge possible, it would be very impratical too as the participants could not/would not be able to retain it. How I wish I could swing a full swing and swing to my fullest and hope they may gain all of it. How I wish indeed.
Yes, everyone has his/her own learning pace but my heart, filled with passion, cannot contain such knowledge and pushes me to impart my knowledge. My own heartful desire is my own poison. This year, I hope that I would kill my passion in training so that I could continue my journey as a trainer for a short while more. I cannot find solace in knowing that one of twenty participants could gain all that I wanted to show. I cannot hope that one of twenty would be able to see what I am doing. I must "hold back" and ensure they would remember 40%. I feel that I am cheating by doing so but I must do it for the sake of my job and my frustration.
Peace.
Over and out.
After thinking about it. I think this job is no longer suitable for me. I have killed what I have enjoyed (in my eyes). I have become someone that is ineffective in delivering (in their eyes). Perhaps it is time for me to move on. To where? I have no idea yet but not now. I still have objectives to meet. I still have two more hurdles to leap over before I hang up my license to teach.
It is the end result they don't see. I believe what they see is a horrible trainer. I suppose from the "customer's point of view" they are right. If they cannot understand/remember the information given, then I have failed. By that, they are right and I am wrong.
Oh to be passionate about teaching is tough. I want to swing my sword from one end to another without fear. I want to push them to newer heights, to bring them to a higher level of understanding. How I wish I could. I have failed as a trainer without a doubt. Even with proper technical backgrounds, the delivery is important and I have failed the delivery portion.
I'd remember when I was a younger trainer, in another company, with another "brand". I'd remember I was a young pup with very little knowledge and my deliverance was good as I was talking in simple terms but "substance" was very much lacking. I was banking on my deliverance to gain points and I did. Now, after years of accumulation of "substance", I lost my "deliverance". Why is this happening? I don't know. Probably because I wanted to impart all I know to them. Pushing, rushing and when the day ended I would ask myself, "for what?" They don't look happy and neither do I feel happy. My passion in trying to teach, impart knowledge was more than they could absorb. I have failed. So many years I was without "substance" and now, when I do have "substance", I was trying to push to them the same information/skills that I have gained. A waste. A huge waste of effort in my part. I have failed.
I would like to find a balance in pleasing the participants and for them to gain knowledge in return. I wish I could but I could not, I have failed. Yet, in all my failures, I am still here in this line of work. Funny, no? I no longer have the drive to teach fully as today onwards, I'll keep a conscious mind that there is no point in pushing. Pleasing the participants is the most important in my line of work. I remember what my senior told me a long time ago, "Impart 40% and make sure they remember 90% rather than imparting 90% and only remembered 40%."
The values looks the same but it is not. The participants would "feel" as if they are much better when they first come in (if adopting impart 40% while remembering 90%). The particpants would feel that they have gained and thus feeling good. However, if I were to adopt the second method (imparting 90% while they only remember 40%), the participants would feel they have not gained anything. By delivering at maximum knowledge possible, it would be very impratical too as the participants could not/would not be able to retain it. How I wish I could swing a full swing and swing to my fullest and hope they may gain all of it. How I wish indeed.
Yes, everyone has his/her own learning pace but my heart, filled with passion, cannot contain such knowledge and pushes me to impart my knowledge. My own heartful desire is my own poison. This year, I hope that I would kill my passion in training so that I could continue my journey as a trainer for a short while more. I cannot find solace in knowing that one of twenty participants could gain all that I wanted to show. I cannot hope that one of twenty would be able to see what I am doing. I must "hold back" and ensure they would remember 40%. I feel that I am cheating by doing so but I must do it for the sake of my job and my frustration.
Peace.
Over and out.
posted by Brian at
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
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